in conclusion... 2012

so i went back and reviewed by blogging over the past year.  and i must say, its been quite the journey.  i started the year weighing in a 140.6 lbs.  eek!  and at the beginning of the year i set my GW at 125 lbs, on the up side i not only reached this original GW but I surpassed it.   but somewhere throughout the year it just wasn't enough and I changed my GW to 110 lbs (which was my original UGW)... then changing my UGW to 102 lbs.  well i didn't quite make it to my GW of 110 lbs, but i did get close at the beginning of December, weighing in at 111 lbs!   unfortunately the holidays spoiled my weight loss intentions. :-(  but all is good.  I am still optimistic.  today for the end of the year I weighed in at 114.6 lbs, which means I lost a total of 26 lbs over the course of 2012!  yah!  and if i were to count my 111 lbs weigh in, i would've lost 29.6 lbs over the year, almost 30 lbs!!  but i am not 111 lbs now, so i am not counting it. :-(

here was my progress for the year
* LW: 111 lbs (12/3/12)
(X) SW: 140.6 lbs (1/2/12)
(X) MG1: 138.5 lbs (1/9/12)
(X) MG2: 136.5 lbs (1/16/12)
(X) MG3: 134.5 lbs (1/19/12)
(X) MG4: 132 lbs (1/26/12)
(X) MG5: 130 lbs (2/15/12)
(X) MG6: 128 lbs (7/3/12)
(X) MG7: 125 lbs (7/14/12)
(X) MG8: 120 lbs (8/1/12)
(X) MG9: 116 lbs (10/20/12)
(X) MG10: 113 lbs (11/24/12) 

so here are some before and after pics....  maybe someone will find them thinspirational. 

background

for thinspo for the upcoming new year i created a background for my desktop.  thought i'd share it. :D

determined

i am sooo mad at myself, i just let go the past few weeks.... i was sooo close.... soo damn close.   now i am up to 115.2 lbs...  i just want to cry.   i was only 1 pound away from my GW, and i went and screwed it all up.  but am i determined now... i will fast until New Years Eve, and then only have a glass or two of champagne.  hopefully this will get me back on track and closer to my goal.   so here's to coffee, tea and water! bottoms up ;-)

111... even!

i'm 111 lbs even!   one more icky pound to go and i'll finally be at my GW!   time to buckle down, i am determined to get this last pound off of me by friday mornings weigh in.  which is when i leave for NYC, and then i will be without a scale until the following weds morning....  i can totally do this.  i've come way to far to give in now.  so i'm depending upon my 1 day diet for the next 4 days, except that today i am skipping lunch.  between cleaning the house, decorating the house, shopping and laundry, i am hoping i stay to busy to think about eating until dinner. hoping for the best week ever... i can do this... i will do this...  it will be done!

111.4

down to 111.4 lbs...  only 0.2 lbs lost each past two days... still a loss i guess... i just like seeing bigger results...  but at least i am getting there.  i've completed 6 days on the 1 day diet... 4 more to go... and then Friday its NYC bound! please please please let me see 110...

111.8

so i've been repeating the 

1 Day Diet for 4 days now... 

and i've been consistently losing!

 i really feel satisfied all the time, and i kind of feel like i have more energy...  

i'm now down to 

111.8 lbs!  

only 1.8 lbs to go by next Friday! 

 i can totally do this!

 

Liebster Award

I am so super pumped that I have been nominated for the Liebster Award.  Thank you NeoHippie!  just recently started following your blog, and i really like it!

so here's a little bit about this award.

so i am very honored! 

so here goes....

1. i have passion for music, i play guitar and sing, and play the violin.  i really wish i would've done more with music and become a performer, but i always felt that i wasn't pretty enough, or thin enough. i started playing guitar when i was 13, and violin when i was 11. 

2. i have an awesome yellow lab named molly, who is the sweetest thing ever. my husband and i drove 3 hours to get her, sight unseen.  shes been a part of our little family for 2 years this month!

3. i absolutely hate cats... which is bad because my husband as two of them!  two black cats... get this... named black cat... wtf?  lol... they drive me crazy, and for no particular reason... i just can't stand kittys.

4. i probably spend a good 2 hours everyday looking at some form of thinspo.  i guess its my little addiction. 

5. i've recently developed a new hobby of sailing, thanks to my wonderful husband.  we have two sailboats, and its alot of fun in the summer.  

6. i'm only 26 and this is my second marriage.  i am 99.9% sure that i got it right this time.  i love my hubby sooo sooo much, and he puts up with my cra-cra moments, so he is for sure a keeper.  my first marriage didn't work because he was an alcoholic, and he was manipulative, and had a way of making me feel worthless.  so glad that is in the past.

7. my favorite band at this time is Civil Wars.  i could listen to them all day.  i actually got to see them perform in a cave in Tennessee, it was the most amazing concert i've ever attended. goosebumps, chills, the whole thing.  i nearly cried earlier this month when they announced they were breaking up.

8. i love my eyes.  they are the most beautiful shade of blue.

9. i am a proud gun owner, and i have my concealed carry permit.  

10. i had lasik eye surgery when i was 18, and i have had 20/15 vision ever since.  

11. i would love to look like keira knightley.

My Answers to NeoHippie

1. What is your favorite day of the year?
- my birthday! even tho i get a year older, i still love that its about me, and i get to do whatever for a day!

2. How old were you when your ED symptoms began?
- about 17 or 18.  i'm pretty sure my manipulated, alcoholic ex-husband helped me to develop my ED.  he always made me feel worthless and unwanted
 
3. What was/is your favorite subject in school and why?
- was - math, any kind, geometry, algebra, as long as it had numbers i loved it.

4.If you could take a vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?
- i would love to see Ireland

5. If you won millions upon millions on the lottery, what would be your plan for the money?
-i would reduce my work schedule to once a week.  split the money among my parents and 2 sisters families, and then develop a budget for the next 60 years, so that i would be taken care of the rest of my life.  oh and travel and go on a shopping spree and build a new house, of course!

6. What is your dream career?
- be a famous performer, play guitar and sing and tour the world

7. Do you know anyone in person who has an ED, or someone you suspect does?
- not personally... just on-line buddies.

8. Your favorite book?
-Twilight books... yes i am a Twilight junkie.  love the books, and love the movies, and love kristen stewart.
 
9. Do you have any siblings?
- i have two older sisters

10. How old were you when you lost your v-card?
- 17...
 
11. How do you prefer your coffee? 
- i am hooked on the Black Silk Foldgers K-Cups right now, and i add a vanilla flavored splenda packet to it, amazing!

Rowan - Small as a Wish in a Well

aviendha grey - anorexia: the other me i hide to keep

ascendancy - thinsanity.

stillimagining - wanting to live...

beauty at any price - when thin thinkers 

sunshinechild - *petal in the wind*

miss bones jackson - my way to beauty...

a friend of ana - my ways to skinny

slimarific - slimarific

flawed design - flawed design

My Questions to You!
1. what is your biggest fear?
2. what is your current job?
3. how often to you think about food?
4. if you could change one thing about you or your life, what would it be, and why?
5. what is the coolest thing you have ever done?
6. what is your most proud moment?
7. tell me about your first kiss
8. do you believe in a god?
9. are you an organ donor, or do you wish to be?
10. if you have an ED, do you see it as a problem?
11. what is your darkest secret?

THANKS EVERYONE!!!

112.4

yah... still progressing!  down to 112.4 lbs today!  i am really liking this One Day Diet, its working very well, never hungry, almost have to remind myself to eat dinner.  3 days in, 3 days strong.  :D  
we are headed to NYC next Friday, I can't wait to see the city all decorated up for Christmas.  this will be my second time to NYC, and i'm super excited.  i know it'll be freezing, but sooo worth it!  can't wait to go shopping and ice skating.  i'm setting a goal to make it to 110 by next Friday.  i had originally made that my goal for the end of the year, but i think if i buckle down, i can make it by Friday. wish me lucks!!

Forever Thin 1 Day Diet

so i was looking at the 3 day military diet and got inspired... i modified it into a 1 day diet that i can easily prepare and repeat.  i did it yesterday and didn't get hungry and i am half way through today. here is what it looks like:

Forever Thin 1 Day Diet

 
Breakfast
1 slice of whole wheat toast - 55 cal
1/2 cup grapefruit - 40 cal
1 whole egg scrambled - 60 cal

 

 



Lunch
1 cottage cheese snack cup - 90 cal
1 dippers snack apples/peanut butter - 150 cal
4 saltine crackers - 50 cal

Snack
1/2 medium banana - 50 cal

  

Dinner
3 slices turkey or ham deli meat - 65 cal
1/2 cup green beans - 30 cal

Dessert (only if desired)
1 fudgesicle - 40 cal



 


just some tips...

my breakfast i use Bunny Bread 100% whole wheat bread and slightly toast it.  

instead of  dealing with a whole grapefruit i buy grapefruit in a jar, its alot easier to mess with.  i get Del Monte no sugar added red grapefruit, love it!

and then scrambled one egg in a non stick pan so i don't have to use butter.
for lunch i pack a Breakstone's cottage cheese snack cup,  and then add a little bit of pepper.  these come in a 4 pack, so perfect! 

also i pack a dippers snack pack with apples and peanut butter, these are like a $1/pc but worth it, no hassel in measuring out peanut butter or having to slice up apple.  

and then i pack 4 zesta saltine crackers.  

for a snack i pack 1/2 of a banana, and put a little bit of lemon juice on the cut end so it doesn't brown, and it seems to work well. 

 then for dinner i steam 1/2 cup fresh green beans and then saute for just a minute with garlic and pepper to season. 

 

 then i throw the meat slices on hot pan just long enough to heat them up, (i just prefer hot food for dinner for some reason). i use hormel deli meats.  super delicious. 

 

 then if i want dessert, i can have a fudgesicle, no sugar added.

 

just some thinspo

MG10 - Complete!!!

i'm on my way!  woo hoo! today i weighed in at 112.8lbs, i've reached my last mini goal (113)  before my GW (110)!!!   and i reached it during Thanksgiving! what a feat.  i am soo happy.  although at the same time i am disappointed with myself b/c i didn't make it even one day with the 50 days of blogging goal, :-( oops...  but i did make it like 3.5 days on the ABC last week....  o well. i'm back at just restricting as much as possible, no specific caloric intake number, just low.   seems to be working. 

50 more days...

so it is 50 days until the end of the year... which means 50 days to get down to 110 lbs or less!  so what better than the ABC diet to get there?!  I am giving the ABC diet one last shot this year, fingers crossed I do better this time than ever before.   i am also adhering to tuna for the next 3 to 5 days, inspiration created to Kate!  but today is just 500 cals or less... so far I have had 2 fiber one brownies = 180cal, and an egg white delight mcmuffin (no cheese, no ham, and just the bottom of the muffin) = 120 cal... so far today =300cal... 

anyways, my trick to tuna for the next 3 to 5 days, is adding in 2 Tsp of salsa, which is like 5 cals.   hopefully this will kick start my weightloss efforts...  i don't have an official weigh in today because i've been outta town on a mini vaca, we got back this afternoon, so i will weigh in tomorrow.  

another goal for my 50 more days is to blog every day, through the GOOD, the BAD & the UGLY.  i have a tendency to stop blogging when things get bad or i gain... i only like to report in when its good.  i will try and get through this.   so here is to 50 days of ABC, 50 days of blogging and 50 days to 110 pounds or less!! let the countdown begin!

 

yah!! but not for long...

so today was a new lowest!  113.8 lbs.... i was so excited.  i was down 1.2 lbs from yesterday... usually when I have a big loss I continue to do well... but today I just ate... and ate... and ate...  I had an order of cheesesticks from the godfathers at the gas station... then I had a chicken sandwich and sweet potato fries from burger king, and then i had 6 reeses cup and a large dr. pepper...   yuck!  talk about a belly ache.  I can't remember the last time I ate this much junk in one week, let alone 1 day.... i know i will pay on the scale tomorrow....  i dont know what i was thinking.... but we all have moments of weakness... now hopefully i have it out of my system and I can continue onwards to 110 lbs and then 102 lbs...

bad week

sorry no posts for week... it was a bad week...  i started my period and ate whatever the hell i felt like for the few days before, and with bloating, i felt so horrible, so disgusting, so fat... at one point i was back up to 117.6 lbs....  but on a better note, somehow miraculously after a day of just coffee and water this morning I weighed in at 115.4 lbs!!   so good to know that after a good fast i can bounce back to where I need to be.  but then it just make me angry to think where i'd be if I hadnt screwed up and ate all that junk... :-(